


'Cause We Are Who We Are When No One's Watching

by Booklover1004



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Boyfriends, Canon Compliant, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:09:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23310655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Booklover1004/pseuds/Booklover1004
Summary: A late night conversation between Harry and Zayn post the Melbourne concert in 2015. Canon compliant. Basically Zayn and Harry trying to figure themselves out in 2015
Relationships: Zayn Malik/Harry Styles
Kudos: 20





	'Cause We Are Who We Are When No One's Watching

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So I thought I would write this ficlet in honor of the 5th anniversary of Zayngate. Hope you guys like it!

"What are we doing, Zayn?" Whispered Harry. They were lying in bed together in Melbourne, languorous after the post concert high. 

"Babe? What's wrong?"

"You are engaged. And yet here you are lying in bed with me."

Zayn sighed. "We are having this conversation now then?"

"I think it's about time we did, don't you?"

"I love Perrie, you know." 

Harry flinched. 

"Good to know." He muttered bitterly.

"Will you let me finish? I love Perrie. She is one of my best friends. But I am not in love with her."

"Then why did you propose to her?"

"You were dating Taylor and I was jealous. I loved you and there you were having the time of your life with her. And Perrie - I mean she does love me. And although it may have started off as a PR relationship I did end up caring for her. I wanted to hurt you." Whispered Zayn. "The same way you had hurt me."

"You're an idiot."

"Oh trust me I know. I rushed into the engagement. And I think that she and I both know that somewhere deep down. But everyone was so happy about it. Our parents were thrilled that we had made it official and by now it has become more about making other people happy rather than us."

"That's bullshit." Hissed Harry fiercely. "So what? You are going to just go along with it? What next? You guys will get married and have three kids just to appease everyone? What about me, Zayn? Don't my feelings count? I have loved you since the past three years. Why the fuck is that not enough for you?"

"Of course it's enough for me! In case you have forgotten, I love you too. Always have Harry. It may have started with us hooking up because it was convenient but trust me, I fell for you after the first month. 

You scare me? Do you know that. Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Maybe then I could have been the fiance that Pez deserves. The one who doesn't think about how his bandmate fucked him while he is in bed with her."

"Don't try to put this on me. You are responsible for your own shitty decisions Z, not me. If you want to break it off with her do so. Or be with her if you want. But it's not fair that you keep stringing me along."

"I know." Whispered Zayn. "We won't get married, that is exactly why we have just announced a long engagement. I will let her know at the end of this tour that it's over for good."

"You better. I deserve better Zayn. Both of us do."

"I know babe." Zayn hugged Harry tightly, thoughts of secret recording sessions with Shahid, how he was now going for days without eating because he was nauseous all the time and how with every passing show he was getting closer and closer to throwing up on stage due to the fear that tonight he would not be able to hit the high notes he was supposed to. It felt so overwhelming at times and Zayn was not sure how long he could take it.

But Harry was in his arms for now. Harry - the only one who was keeping him sane through this entire mess. And for now that was enough.


End file.
